If I’m Honest…

I’d tell you that I love the City, but I really miss Highway 1, backroads, the ocean, singing in the car, rolling hills, and blue skies.

I’d tell you that I while the streets may feel safe, someone died on the corner of Chicago Ave. and Wells St. (one corner of MBI) this week, and that reality puts both fear and grief in my bones.

I’d tell you that dorms are fun and refreshing, but I miss houses (and families) more than I ever expected to.

I’d tell you that I love my theology and Bible classes, but I am still undecided on my major and my perpetual indecisiveness frustrates me.

I’d tell you that I only feel like a fraction of my self. The only thing filling my journal is questions that lead to more questions, just beneath the nervousness in my stomach there’s deep longings and wounds, just behind my walls there’s insecurity and pride.

I’d tell you that the dining hall food choices are limited, but I also feel physically healthier than ever. Praise God.

I’d tell you that life is not all beauty and sweetness and charm, like I’ve portrayed thus far. It’s also hard, cold, confusing, and bitter, at times. Sometimes, all at the same time.

So here’s to being a little bit honest, if there is such a thing.


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5 Responses to If I’m Honest…

  1. Emily says:

    I love you and your honesty. I miss you and so do the hills here. It snowed?(for like a minute) today. I thought of you.
    Love, Em

  2. Joanna says:

    Love you and miss you. Sad you guys couldn’t make it tonight… but I hope something fun happens to you to make up for it!

    • kylielove says:

      Bummed we couldn’t make it :( I’m so excited you are going to Honduras though! What an adventure. Can’t wait to see you when you’re back and hear all about it. I think a California-girl-breakfast-extravaganza will be in order. Love.

  3. Pingback: A Semester in Review | love, kylie

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