I slept like a rock last night.
Long, blissful hours of uninterrupted slumber,
unlike the numerous nights before,
nights when my brain wouldn’t shut off,
swimming in circles around the same thoughts,
I’d wake up and feel as though sleep never came,
the time told me I must have slept, but my dull headache and unrested spirit felt otherwise.
There’s something mysterious and powerful about the way our spirits affect our bodies,
something I’m only beginning to understand.
How unchecked, buried, ignored emotions and thoughts
rise to the surface and wreak a silent havoc on the body,
headaches, a general tiredness, heaviness, just feeling ‘off’.
Two summers ago in Costa Rica some wise men instructed me and the missions team I was on to pay careful attention to our dreams.
To not dismiss them, but to be aware that God may use them to speak to us.
His power to speak is not limited by our being asleep or awake,
and we ought to be open to listening.
Since then I’ve paid attention to my nighttime mind-stories.
Most nights, I remember nothing.
But when I do, the scenes are vivid and life-like, full of faces and places from real life.
Sometimes tragic, sometimes odd, sometimes shocking, sometimes refreshing.
So, after a week and half of awful dreams,
fraught with grief and tragedy and strangeness,
last night I slept well.
I dreamt about an old friend who is gone now, and woke up clear-minded, a little more healed and whole. My heart sighed with thankfulness and the sweetness of dream. My body felt strong and healthy and rested.
It’s a winding road, often more circular than linear,
the journey from brokenness to wholeness,
old to new,
death to life,
dark to light.
God is faithful to usher us forward to new, open spaces. Even if it seems we are stuck longer than we’d like. His timing is not our timing.
Sometimes, He’s carving us, and we feel the pain of the scalpel as He reveals dark caverns of our hearts – broken by the past, crushed by loss, afraid of the future.
Sometimes, He’s shaping us, and we feel the pressure of His firm power.
Sometimes, He’s comforting us, and we feel the reassurance of His presence.
Sometimes, He’s teaching us, and we feel the sweetness of His word.
Sometimes, He’s pursuing us, and we feel the thrill of His unchanging love.
Sometimes, He’s healing us, and we feel the peace and freedom of His promises.
Today, I’m thankful for all the above. And for a good night’s sleep (and effective earplugs).